Welcoming guests to Puerto Vallarta - Eric

Janice relaxes very briefly on the beach

With guests set to fill up the empty bedrooms in our Ajijic home soon, it's instructive to look back on our attempts at hosting in Puerto Vallarta.
When you live in an international tourist destination like Puerto Vallarta, people visit you.
We hosted our four guests all within a four-week window. It's interesting to note the varying vacation styles.
First up was Marge's beloved sister Janice from New York City. She's a speech language pathology teacher in an inner-city high school: Works all the time, Extra duties at school in the evenings. Draws up daily individual lesson plans for each student into the early morning hours. Etc.
Ah, Puerto Vallarta would be the ideal decompression spot for her: Watching the sunset from our deck with a pitcher of margaritas. Lounging on the beach. Luxuriating in a relaxing massage on a grassy spot jutting out into the bay. In short, a total rejuvenation week.
So we picked her up at the airport about 5 p.m. after a long flight from New York, which included a layover  in Chicago.
"Show me the city," she demanded. We drove her on a circular path through Puerto Vallarta.
"Are there interesting places outside the city?" she asked. "Where are we going now?"
Marge replied, "We're going to our place. We thought you'd want to get settled in after your flight. We'll put a roast in the oven."
Janice retorted, "I didn't come to Puerto Vallarta to eat beef roast."
It  became instantly clear she was going to vacation as hard as she worked.

So began the Janice Grand Puerto Vallarta Tour.
That night we ate dinner at a restaurant on the beach and walked the malecon, Puerto Vallarta's famous boardwalk.
On Tuesday, we toured the Riviera Nayarit area north of the city, including the beach towns of San Pancho and Sayulita.
On Wednesday, Janice and Marge shopped in El Centro and then we went up river to El Rio for BBQ ribs and classic rock from the Zippers.
On Thursday, we took a boat tour of the estuary, ate at an authentic Mexican restaurant and watched the sunset on the malecon.
On Friday, Janice and Marge went on a taco tour, then we drove to points south and ended up eating at another beachfront restaurant before walking on the Los Muertos Pier.
On her final day, Janice finally sat on the beach briefly while Marge did a photo shoot of her in a new swimsuit. (Sports Illustrated has expressed interest.) We ate dinner at a restaurant that, surprisingly, was not on the beach.

Eric, Todd and Marge at Senor Frog

A week later, my son Todd came to visit. He didn't have a specific itinerary. He figured we lived here and knew where to go.
But he had already toured the hot spots of Mexico and the Caribbean with his cousin Thomas so he wasn't easily dazzled: Especially not with parent stuff like walking the boardwalk, listening to an oldies band or seeing where 1960's movie stars Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton lived 50 years ago.
Senor Frog was the solution. Senior Frog is a Spring Break magnet for the younger set. To give you an indication of its focus, there are about a dozen Senor Frog souvenir shops but only one restaurant/bar in Puerto Vallarta.
Wanting to be a good host but grumbling that this was like visiting San Francisco and eating at Applebee's, I agreed to go to the Senor Frog restaurant.
We ordered huge strawberry and banana margaritas, the young servers flirted with Marge and, somehow, we spent way more money than we had planned. In all fairness, I have to admit the food and drinks were surprisingly good and the portions were large.
Todd said he enjoyed his visit and it was really good to see him.
He left on Friday. Margie and Jean arrived on Saturday.
I surprised myself by how well-behaved I was with the urban and urbane couple, Marge's long-time friends from New York: No pointing out the restaurant where El Chapo's son and associates were kidnapped. No stage whispering that we were taking them up river to be disappeared on orders of the cartel.
But, Marge!: Going on and on about cocodrilos (crocodiles) and boa constrictors and scorpions, oh my!
They were really good sports as we took them on dusty, bumpy back roads, showed them giant cocodrilos, let our dog spray sand on them while digging under the restaurant table and made them use a primitive restroom where they had to scoop out a bucket of water to fill the toilet.
Margie and Jean didn't get to  eat on regular non-sand floors except when they escaped from us to enjoy their all-inclusive hotel meals or ate with other friends at a classy restaurant.
Despite all the indignities, they claimed they had fun with us. They even  checked out real estate listings and said they would consider moving to Puerto Vallarta.

Jean, Margie and Eric at the marina